Inner Metamorphosis

Performance art is the best way I see to express ourselves, to express what we feel, to demonstrate our thoughts.

Metamorphosis is a process of change that involves a lot of time and that makes us evolve and grow.

After studying the concept of metamorphosis, I decided to record my first performance. I thought it would have to be in just one video shot, something continuous. So, I rented equipment from the university and asked a friend to help me grab one of the cameras. I thought that having two views of the same thing could make the performance more interesting. So, I recorded with two cameras. One facing me and one above me, giving a more intimate view of the performance.

Recording the performance was quite tricky as I didn't feel comfortable expressing myself so intimately in front of a camera. Not to mention it was -1.oC and I was wearing a top and shorts outdoors while putting clay, paint and water on me. After recording this I clearly got sick. But the fact that I was freezing cold conveyed something interesting to the video, it made it more personal and unique.

This performance was something very intimate for me, I tried my best to demonstrate the need for change that I feel inside me.

MEANING OF THE PERFORMANCE

I start the video with a black mask that completely covers my face, leaving only my eyes and mouth visible. This mask represents one of many that I had to put on over the years for fear of rejection, either by friends, family or even strangers. I always felt that I couldn't be myself, that I had to hide, or that I had to pretend to be something that I'm not. But I started to change, I started to grow, to gain courage to express myself, to grow and to open my mind. My metamorphosis process started. So I started rubbing myself in clay and paint to demonstrate my will to change, to show that I am starting to grow, that I want to overcome my insecurities. And I eventually did. I took off the mask. But even though I no longer had a mask I needed to keep changing, but now I am changing the real me. I want to become a better person, I want to be able to evolve and for evolution there must be a process of continuous change. However change can be scary and that scared me. So I go back to wearing a mask, for fear of having changed too much, for fear of not being approved anymore, for fear of the outside. But I realise that the point of change is that you need to change, to change yourself, to change the world. We can't be afraid of change, we can't stay in our cocoon forever. That's when I take off my last mask, I burn it on the fire to represent that I never want to wear it again. I accept my changes, my development.

After recording the performance, I decided to edit the video and realized that the microphone was not recording after all. So, I had to edit the audiocompletely,recordallthe sounds again. All the sounds in the video are nature sounds except for the last part of the campfire. For this part I used a tribal chant about the beauty of nature. I think I achieved what Iwanted to achieve with this video. I got very positive reviews, but I also got some reviews that I didn't like so much. Some people interpreted the video as something sexual, a man can't see a woman touching her own skin and that automatically becomes something sexual. But of course, art is subjective, and everyone has the freedom to interpret the work as they wish.